That is truly brutal to hear, and it breaks my heart. These stories remind us that the physical toll of childbirth is not just a temporary struggle, but something that can leave a lifelong mark.
When my mother had my younger brother, we lived in a fifth-floor apartment without an elevator. She had to go up and down those stairs while carrying a newborn, and she believes she developed varicose veins because of that. She still suffers from it today.
It is a painful reminder of what happens when a body is not allowed to rest. Truly, every mother in this world deserves enough time to rest and recover.
Yes, sounds about right. Many mothers here in the U.S. once out the hospital, like right away, have to resume household duties immediately. It's no wonder so many women suffer from post-partum depression.
Indeed, the connection between the physical and the emotional is so direct, and yet so often overlooked.
When a mother is forced back into household chores the moment she is discharged, there is simply no space for the 'repair' or 'untying.' It makes perfect sense that so many women end up suffering when recovery is treated like an optional luxury instead of a necessity.
Thank you for highlighting such an important link ❤️
A lovely person on BlueSky introduced me to your blog today and it is wonderful! I found this article to be so interesting and important. I literally almost died having my daughter, and yet I was sent home and expected to bounce back. I guess being an American, my body knew it and complied but it was such an unnecessarily brutal experience. I want to care for my daughter the way Koreans do if she has children one day. Mothers need more than a baby shower. We need genuine care, support and gentleness. Your writing is beautiful, informative and thoughtful. Thank you 🩷
Thank you so much for finding your way here, and for trusting me with something this personal. I’m so sorry you went through something so brutal, and I’m deeply moved by the way you named what mothers really need: not just celebration, but care, support, and gentleness.
Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have a mother who is already thinking about how to hold and protect her in the future with that genuine care and gentleness.
(In fact, my husband and I often talk (half-jokingly, but half-earnestly) about how we will need to take care of our daughter when she has a baby of her own one day. Even though she is only seven, we are already strategizing how to divide the work. The best part is that she jumps right into the planning with us, telling me, 'Mom, I will handle that, so you take care of this.')
My mom had three daughters. She still makes US miyeok-guk on our birthdays (as she still dresses us) well into our forties. I’ll have to ask her about Samshindang — I didn’t know about it until I read this. Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much, Jamie. My mom is exactly the same 😅
Every year on my birthday, she still worries about whether I’m eating miyeok-guk, and every time I see her (like once a year), she buys me clothes because she thinks I never shop for myself (which is actually true).
Samshinsang is really more of an older tradition, so it’s not nearly as common now as a dol table or baek-il table. My parents are devout Christians, so we didn’t have it in our home either. But while working on this piece, I was surprised to see that some younger parents in Korea are still setting one up and even sharing how they do it on YouTube and blogs. I love that these old layers of culture still find ways to survive. Thank you so much for reading so thoughtfully.
This was very interesting and eye-opening. The postpartum period is really tumultuous, especially for first moms. I remember having very little support and a husband who really didn’t know what to do for me, along with a lack of family support, and I got depressed, even though I had no reason to be. These traditions are all good, although I would think that the seaweed soup would get tiresome (sounds tasty, though). I’m not sure about the staying warm concept, but with a slowing of metabolism and a blood loss, plus a drop in blood pressure, I can see that working. Thanks for sharing this.
Beautiful. This is how it should be done! My poor mom got up and went to cooking and taking care of the family. Brutal.
That is truly brutal to hear, and it breaks my heart. These stories remind us that the physical toll of childbirth is not just a temporary struggle, but something that can leave a lifelong mark.
When my mother had my younger brother, we lived in a fifth-floor apartment without an elevator. She had to go up and down those stairs while carrying a newborn, and she believes she developed varicose veins because of that. She still suffers from it today.
It is a painful reminder of what happens when a body is not allowed to rest. Truly, every mother in this world deserves enough time to rest and recover.
Oh yes. Our mothers were warriors. I don't even understand that kind of strength.
Yes, sounds about right. Many mothers here in the U.S. once out the hospital, like right away, have to resume household duties immediately. It's no wonder so many women suffer from post-partum depression.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment 🙏
Indeed, the connection between the physical and the emotional is so direct, and yet so often overlooked.
When a mother is forced back into household chores the moment she is discharged, there is simply no space for the 'repair' or 'untying.' It makes perfect sense that so many women end up suffering when recovery is treated like an optional luxury instead of a necessity.
Thank you for highlighting such an important link ❤️
A lovely person on BlueSky introduced me to your blog today and it is wonderful! I found this article to be so interesting and important. I literally almost died having my daughter, and yet I was sent home and expected to bounce back. I guess being an American, my body knew it and complied but it was such an unnecessarily brutal experience. I want to care for my daughter the way Koreans do if she has children one day. Mothers need more than a baby shower. We need genuine care, support and gentleness. Your writing is beautiful, informative and thoughtful. Thank you 🩷
Thank you so much for finding your way here, and for trusting me with something this personal. I’m so sorry you went through something so brutal, and I’m deeply moved by the way you named what mothers really need: not just celebration, but care, support, and gentleness.
Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have a mother who is already thinking about how to hold and protect her in the future with that genuine care and gentleness.
(In fact, my husband and I often talk (half-jokingly, but half-earnestly) about how we will need to take care of our daughter when she has a baby of her own one day. Even though she is only seven, we are already strategizing how to divide the work. The best part is that she jumps right into the planning with us, telling me, 'Mom, I will handle that, so you take care of this.')
My mom had three daughters. She still makes US miyeok-guk on our birthdays (as she still dresses us) well into our forties. I’ll have to ask her about Samshindang — I didn’t know about it until I read this. Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much, Jamie. My mom is exactly the same 😅
Every year on my birthday, she still worries about whether I’m eating miyeok-guk, and every time I see her (like once a year), she buys me clothes because she thinks I never shop for myself (which is actually true).
Samshinsang is really more of an older tradition, so it’s not nearly as common now as a dol table or baek-il table. My parents are devout Christians, so we didn’t have it in our home either. But while working on this piece, I was surprised to see that some younger parents in Korea are still setting one up and even sharing how they do it on YouTube and blogs. I love that these old layers of culture still find ways to survive. Thank you so much for reading so thoughtfully.
This was very interesting and eye-opening. The postpartum period is really tumultuous, especially for first moms. I remember having very little support and a husband who really didn’t know what to do for me, along with a lack of family support, and I got depressed, even though I had no reason to be. These traditions are all good, although I would think that the seaweed soup would get tiresome (sounds tasty, though). I’m not sure about the staying warm concept, but with a slowing of metabolism and a blood loss, plus a drop in blood pressure, I can see that working. Thanks for sharing this.