I love how you maintained the nuances that we live through in being alone at various stages of life and in other’s lives. And I especially loved this line from you:“Sometimes it is social exhaustion with chopsticks.” 🥢 😆
Thanks for such a thoughtful piece! When I visited Seoul, I noticed I hardly ever saw anyone eating by themselves, unless they were just grabbing ramen at a convenience store. This article gives such great insight into why that is.
Being ethnically Chinese, I’m also pretty used to those unwritten rules of dining ethics within social groups, especially since family meals are so communal. That said, I’m based in Hong Kong where eating alone is totally normal, so you won’t have to worry about that if you ever visit!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it 🙏
Yes, what you noticed in Seoul makes so much sense. Eating alone has become more common in Korea, but there is still so much social meaning around meals.
I love hearing the Hong Kong comparison too. And I’ve never been to Hong Kong, but it has always been on my wish list. I really should have gone when I was living in Thailand, but somehow I missed the chance. Thank you for letting me know I won’t have to worry about eating alone there if I ever visit. 😄
I love Thailand! It’s such a beautiful country with such a vibrant and warm culture.
Anyway, if you ever do visit Hong Kong, you’ll have to write about it too! Just make sure to avoid the summer rainy months (June to August) to make the most out of the city.
I actually went to high school in Thailand! I returned to Korea for college, but my parents lived there for 17 years, so Thailand remained a big part of our family life for a long time.
I still regret not visiting more nearby countries while I was living there. At the time, I think I assumed I would always live somewhere in Asia. I had no idea I would eventually end up in the U.S.
And yes, Thailand is also in rainy season around then, so maybe that’s the time to go somewhere else. 😄 Thank you for the Hong Kong travel tip. If I ever make it there, I’ll definitely write about what I notice and experience.
Wow, do you by any chance also speak Thai then? I've just started learning, so I would welcome any tips!
When I lived in Canada, I also thought I would have time to travel, but I eventually moved to Hong Kong, so I feel a similar regret. This will just mean that when we do make our respective trips, it will be for a long break and with purpose and intention ☺️
I was in 9th grade when my family moved to Thailand, and I went straight into an international school. Since my English at the time wasn’t good,I was so busy trying to survive in English that my Thai stayed very nit noi. 😄
My younger brother moved there in 6th grade, and even though he also went to international school, he can still read Thai letters. Watching him always made me think: yes, languages really are easier the younger you start😆
So my Thai is mostly at the “ordering food” level, which is at least a very important life skill. 😄
And I completely understand what you mean about thinking you’ll have time to travel. Even after moving to the U.S., I moved around a lot. When I lived in Chicago, I honestly thought I would retire there someday, and then somehow we ended up in Seattle.
So now I try to explore wherever I am as much as I can. Since moving here, we go to Vancouver often, and I’ve been visiting parks around the Pacific Northwest almost like I’m collecting stamps. Your comment is such a good reminder to really see the places we’re in while we’re there ❤️
Knowing how to order food is already very good and the most important thing in my mind!😹
Glad you're taking advantage of the nature. I grew up in Vancouver, so I definitely miss the hikes and cycling around Stanley Park. If you have a chance, you should also check out Vancouver Island, there are so many good spots around there too. If you're lucky, maybe you could even see whales on the ferry ride over from Vancouver!
As a woman who often travels alone and loves good food, I realize I’m going to have to brace myself for Seoul. But in other cities I’ve had trouble too: London on a Saturday night was impossible. They’d put me on the list, leave me sitting for an hour while they seated drop-ins, and never tell me why!
There's something oddly perfect about sitting by a convenience store!!
And here's the thing. I've had triangle kimbap in other places, including here in the US at restaurants and grocery stores, but nothing comes close to a tuna mayo triangle kimbap from a Korean convenience store. That specific combination just hits differently. You'll see what I mean. 😄
What a beautiful piece of writing! Very thought provoking!
Eating alone can also be awkward in Western countries, at least at sit down restaurants. Having more care for those eating alone might help the loneliness epidemic.
I usually eat alone more often than not, but this makes group meals more precious for me. But I also have group or shared meals fairly regularly too.
You've touched on something I didn't fully explore in the piece: the loneliness epidemic angle. You're absolutely right that designing more welcoming spaces for solo diners could be one small but meaningful way to address it.
And I love how you've reframed it. Solo meals making shared ones more precious is a beautiful way to hold both ❤️
Love this piece. I think there are so many reasons why people want to or don’t want to eat alone. Interesting to read the Korean perspective and yes it is indeed complicated!
Thank you, Susie! "Complicated," indeed! I think that's what makes Korean food culture (and probably any food culture) so endlessly fascinating to write about. There's rarely a clean answer, just layers. Appreciate you reading! 🙏
I love how you maintained the nuances that we live through in being alone at various stages of life and in other’s lives. And I especially loved this line from you:“Sometimes it is social exhaustion with chopsticks.” 🥢 😆
Thank you so much. I’m glad that line landed 😆
Sometimes honbap is freedom. Sometimes it’s loneliness. And sometimes, yes, it is absolutely social exhaustion with chopsticks 🥢
Thanks for such a thoughtful piece! When I visited Seoul, I noticed I hardly ever saw anyone eating by themselves, unless they were just grabbing ramen at a convenience store. This article gives such great insight into why that is.
Being ethnically Chinese, I’m also pretty used to those unwritten rules of dining ethics within social groups, especially since family meals are so communal. That said, I’m based in Hong Kong where eating alone is totally normal, so you won’t have to worry about that if you ever visit!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it 🙏
Yes, what you noticed in Seoul makes so much sense. Eating alone has become more common in Korea, but there is still so much social meaning around meals.
I love hearing the Hong Kong comparison too. And I’ve never been to Hong Kong, but it has always been on my wish list. I really should have gone when I was living in Thailand, but somehow I missed the chance. Thank you for letting me know I won’t have to worry about eating alone there if I ever visit. 😄
I love Thailand! It’s such a beautiful country with such a vibrant and warm culture.
Anyway, if you ever do visit Hong Kong, you’ll have to write about it too! Just make sure to avoid the summer rainy months (June to August) to make the most out of the city.
I actually went to high school in Thailand! I returned to Korea for college, but my parents lived there for 17 years, so Thailand remained a big part of our family life for a long time.
I still regret not visiting more nearby countries while I was living there. At the time, I think I assumed I would always live somewhere in Asia. I had no idea I would eventually end up in the U.S.
And yes, Thailand is also in rainy season around then, so maybe that’s the time to go somewhere else. 😄 Thank you for the Hong Kong travel tip. If I ever make it there, I’ll definitely write about what I notice and experience.
Wow, do you by any chance also speak Thai then? I've just started learning, so I would welcome any tips!
When I lived in Canada, I also thought I would have time to travel, but I eventually moved to Hong Kong, so I feel a similar regret. This will just mean that when we do make our respective trips, it will be for a long break and with purpose and intention ☺️
I was in 9th grade when my family moved to Thailand, and I went straight into an international school. Since my English at the time wasn’t good,I was so busy trying to survive in English that my Thai stayed very nit noi. 😄
My younger brother moved there in 6th grade, and even though he also went to international school, he can still read Thai letters. Watching him always made me think: yes, languages really are easier the younger you start😆
So my Thai is mostly at the “ordering food” level, which is at least a very important life skill. 😄
And I completely understand what you mean about thinking you’ll have time to travel. Even after moving to the U.S., I moved around a lot. When I lived in Chicago, I honestly thought I would retire there someday, and then somehow we ended up in Seattle.
So now I try to explore wherever I am as much as I can. Since moving here, we go to Vancouver often, and I’ve been visiting parks around the Pacific Northwest almost like I’m collecting stamps. Your comment is such a good reminder to really see the places we’re in while we’re there ❤️
Knowing how to order food is already very good and the most important thing in my mind!😹
Glad you're taking advantage of the nature. I grew up in Vancouver, so I definitely miss the hikes and cycling around Stanley Park. If you have a chance, you should also check out Vancouver Island, there are so many good spots around there too. If you're lucky, maybe you could even see whales on the ferry ride over from Vancouver!
Anyway, I'll stay tuned to your next article 💕
As a woman who often travels alone and loves good food, I realize I’m going to have to brace myself for Seoul. But in other cities I’ve had trouble too: London on a Saturday night was impossible. They’d put me on the list, leave me sitting for an hour while they seated drop-ins, and never tell me why!
Oh, thanks for sharing your travel experience! So interesting to hear that London on a Saturday night can be so brutal for solo diners.
Seoul will definitely test your patience in some spots, but here's the good news: most casual Korean restaurants are genuinely solo-friendly.
And honestly, Korean convenience stores can be an amazing cultural experience in themselves. You might even come to love it 🤗
I’m definitely up for the 편의점 experience. I can’t wait to people watch through a window eating triangle 김밥!
There's something oddly perfect about sitting by a convenience store!!
And here's the thing. I've had triangle kimbap in other places, including here in the US at restaurants and grocery stores, but nothing comes close to a tuna mayo triangle kimbap from a Korean convenience store. That specific combination just hits differently. You'll see what I mean. 😄
Thank you. I love your essays, btw.
Thank you so much 🙏 That really means a lot to me. Comments like yours are a big part of why I keep writing ❤️
I'd be at the CU all the time. Or at home. Cause all this is like living at the Silla Court.
Honestly, if I had to eat alone in Korea, I'd probably end up at CU too 😆 Cup ramen and triangle kimbap? Honestly not a bad deal at all. 😄
Exactly!! Lovely bori cha. Minding my own business. Aaaaaaah.
What a beautiful piece of writing! Very thought provoking!
Eating alone can also be awkward in Western countries, at least at sit down restaurants. Having more care for those eating alone might help the loneliness epidemic.
I usually eat alone more often than not, but this makes group meals more precious for me. But I also have group or shared meals fairly regularly too.
Thank you so much, Ada! This really means a lot.
You've touched on something I didn't fully explore in the piece: the loneliness epidemic angle. You're absolutely right that designing more welcoming spaces for solo diners could be one small but meaningful way to address it.
And I love how you've reframed it. Solo meals making shared ones more precious is a beautiful way to hold both ❤️
Love this piece. I think there are so many reasons why people want to or don’t want to eat alone. Interesting to read the Korean perspective and yes it is indeed complicated!
Thank you, Susie! "Complicated," indeed! I think that's what makes Korean food culture (and probably any food culture) so endlessly fascinating to write about. There's rarely a clean answer, just layers. Appreciate you reading! 🙏